The Bachelor Party
by Kiwi-Starfruit
Summary: Cloud, Cid, Barret, Reno, and Rude are throwing Vincent a bachelor party! The guys are ready and willing for tonight... but Vincent isn't too hot to trot on the whole idea. What happens when Yuffie finds out where they're going? M/ just to be safe


**Bachelor Party**

**Pairing: Vincent/Yuffie, Cloud/Tifa**

**Genre: romance/comedy/fluff**

**Rating: M (just to be safe)**

**Summary: Cloud, Cid, Barret, Reno and Rude are throwing Vincent a bachelor party! The guys are ready and willing for tonight, but Vincent isn't to hot to trot on the whole idea. What happens when Yuffie finds out where they're going?**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Square enix/Tetsuya Nomura, All rights to their respective owners/ Kriss belongs to [c] Kiwi-Starfruit**

**Setting: Post Dirge of Cerberus**

**Type: One-shot**

* * *

**Status: Complete **

It was early morning in Seventh Heaven. The bedroom window of Tifa's room was cracked open, where the sound of birds chirping could be heard in the city of Midgar, and a slight breeze shifted the curtains.

Tifa let her legs stretch over the side of the bed to sit up, looking over to see her beloved's sleeping face. '_Today is going to be a good day'. _She thought happily. Her cell phone on the nightstand began to sound off with a unique ring tone, which could only be Yuffie's. '_Oh boy...'_ She sighed heavily and picked up the phone quickly before the high pitched ring tone woke up Cloud. She loved the girl to death, but why did she have to be an early riser?

" Tifa! Tifa!" she held the phone away from her ear due to her loud voice through the speaker. "Shh! Not so loud! What is it Yuffie?" Tifa got up to walk down the hall and into the kitchen to speak more freely without waking the others.

" You know very well what's going to happen tonight, right?" she spoke in a loud, worried tone. " How could I forget! We're going out for your bachelorette party." she chirped. She couldn't wait, she remembered everything they did to plan tonight. "Yeah, well, Vincent is going out for his own party too, y'know! Don't you know what this means?" she could just imagine Yuffie pouting on the other side of the phone. "Uhm..." She arched an eyebrow. " It means those guys are going out to a stipper club!" she spat out with annoyance.

"Yuffie, I don't really think they're-" she was suddenly cut of by Yuffie's ranting. " Please! Where else could men go for their bachelor party! After all they're men, and I really don't think-" Yuffie was talking at her maximum speed at this point "Yuffie, Calm down!" she tried to overlap her voice with Yuffie's. "What makes you think this? I'm sure Vincent isn't the kind of guy to agree with that kind of thing."

"But I heard the guys talking about it the other day!" she sounded annoyed and worried, Tifa was sure this was a misunderstanding, maybe it was just Yuffie hearing things the wrong way. They were going out dancing tonight! It's been a while since they both could get out and have some fun. "C'mon Tifa! Help me save Vinnie from the dirty dancers!" she stated with pleading voice.

"Look, I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding. Let's try to focus on tonight, _our _party. Besides! I was going to help you pick out attire for your wedding night..." she said sweetly, trying to coax the ninja out of the whole idea of crashing the bachelor party. "...Uhhgg.. fine! Fine! I'll see you in a bit this afternoon." she groaned. Tifa was sure she was blushing. "See you!" she smiled. Good! No problems for tonight.

She heard Cloud walk into the kitchen while dragging his feet, as he slowly made his way to hug Tifa from behind. "Well good morning to you too." she chirped. " The other side of the bed is cold..." he yawned. They gave each other a chaste kiss before both of them headed back to the bedroom. A little more sleep couldn't hurt.

Later that afternoon, Yuffie and Tifa were in the spare bedroom of seventh heaven, and going through the dresses they had, deciding which would look good on themselves for the night out together. "Do you like this one Tifa?" Yuffie held up a tasteful green strapless dress. "I think that looks the best on you. " she smiled, admiring the red one she had just slipped on. " I'm going to get us some drinks. Is tea okay?" she said heading out the bedroom door. "Sounds good!" Tifa nodded and proceeded down stairs where all the guys from Avalanche were talking up a storm along with two turks. Except Vincent of course.

"- Yeah the club is called 'Cirque de Lune' and tonight is masquerade night!" said a scruffy blond with a ciqarette between his teeth. Tifa stopped in her tracks immediately, just at the top of the stairs. "C'mon Vamp! Don't tell me you've never wanted to go see chicks dance for ya!" the pilot chortled. "Man, I had the boss pay me in ones yesterday. Don't tell me all that beggin' was in vain, yo!" said a worried red head.

" I don't think this is a wise event to attend... and no, Cid, I never put any thought In the matter." stated the irritated stoic man. "And I thought it was _my _party, don't I have the right to choose where we will be going this evening?" he asked. All at once the group replied "Nope." they stated flatly. "We leave tonight at ten thirty!"They cheered " Oh, by the way man, we reserved a private dance for ya." Cloud said to the gunman. Vincent immediately pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Fine..."

The "O" face that was bestowed upon Tifa's face would have been one to laugh about, but was headed back to the spare bedroom without a moments notice. She quicky went back in and shut the door. "That was quick." said Yuffie as she turned around see Tifa's eyes practically popping out of her head. " What's wrong?" Tifa looked up. "Let's go save our men from the dirty dancers."

'_We could always go out dancing another night'._ Tifa was already boiling over. Cloud going to get it when he later... Vincent will already have enough on his plate when Yuffie gets her hands on him.

"-They even reserved a private dance and everything." Tifa said as they were looking at her laptop to find the Club's location. "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!" Yuffie yelped as she helped with the search for "Cirque de Lune". "So how are we going to do this?" the martial artist asked. " We aren't going to crash the party..." she said with a devious look on her face. "What?" she said open-mouthed. "We're going to invade it! Ninja style of course! You said it was masquerade night, right?"

Yuffie's eyes were shining, she hadn't done something mischievous in a long time. " let's take out the dancer assigned to Vinnie, and I'll take her place, then I'll teach him a lesson!" she grinned ear to ear.

" We better get to work then! We'll have to head down there early, and get masks for ourselves." '_This is certainly going to be a party to remember'._ Yuffie thought with a grin.

The city of Midgar was growing dark, and the flickering city lights were showing themselves, along with the bustling of night walkers on the streets heading to bars, clubs, and twenty-four hour stores that stayed a glow for customers. Tifa and Yuffie walked down the stairs in their form-fitting dresses. The make up they had on, and the way their hair was styled had completely changed their looks. Vincent couldn't look away from his bride... he hated the idea of other men looking at her somewhere out of his reach. He also was not one for dancing. If it were just the two of them at home where no one was looking... he could go through one routine. It bugged him a bit that she didn't look at him once...

Vincent was in the corner of the room, you could probably call it his 'spot'. Yuffie was almost passed him on the way to the door until he gently layed a hand on her shoulder. "Yuffie... I-" he said quietly. "Don't worry Vince, I have stars in my purse." he nodded in contentment. Still looking away, she skipped forward to catch up with Tifa as she pulled over a cab. She knew what he was thinking for the most part, she loved it went he showed concern for her. That still didn't change the fact he was going to what-must-not-be-named and be 'entertained' by strange women. Yuffie furrowed her eyebrows at the thought.

It was around seven thirty when they left. The club was a good ways away, but when they got there, they knew why they had chosen this one instead of the others scattered around the area.

Cirque de Lune was a unique building where the bass in the music that was played was fast paced, the kind that made your heart thump along with beat. A tall hostess greeted them as the two girls held each others arms when they walked through the entrance to the main room, where there were tables that lined the walls, and stage in the back lit tastefully with colorful strobe lights, and music that matched the movements of the graceful pole dancers that were viewed by many.

All the dancers had bright make up, and wore clothes that would put G-strings to shame (if you could call them clothes). All of them were wearing colorful feather infused masks that covered their faces, where only the red of their lipstick could be seen.

Yuffie and Tifa looked around casually for the door to backstage while gazing at the women in the distance. "Over there" Yuffie pointed over at a silver door, where one of the dancers came proudly strutting out. It was amazing how she could even walk with shoes the same size as her head. They swiftly made their way through the door unnoticed and made it into one of the empty dressing rooms.

"This is almost too crazy..." Tifa said quietly. "Alright! We're in, now to find the chick assigned to Vince and-" she was cut off in surprise as one of the strippers with pitch hair in tall high heels looked the two avalanche women with surprise as well.

"Been a long time since I've seen female guests at this place, especially in my room." she said casually with a smile on her face, an intricate feather covered mask with bright neon paints that show up in the dim light. "Is there something I can help you two beauties with?" she asked. Tifa and Yuffie looked at each other, considering if they should interrogate this woman " Well... I don't think you'd be willing to help fellow girl out would'ya?" Yuffie asked, stepping forward.

"Of course! Especially if it's for an old friend." the tall woman took her mask off. "Kisaragi Yuffie." she smiled happily. "Kriss...?" Yuffie laughed and went to hug her, grin on her face. "Its been too long! What are you doing here?" both of them laughed, happy to see each other again. "ten years to be exact, I work here... Can't you tell?" Tifa almost wanted to laugh, surprised at the fact Yuffie had a friend that was into this kind of business. "Kriss, this is Tifa Lockheart, Tifa, this is Kriss Toyamura!" she gestured toward the two of them. " But enough with the intros! We can catch up later... we need to talk business!"

"What kind of business is it?" Kriss asked, curiosity sparking. "A party of six is on their way at ten thirty, under the name Valentine. My fiance is getting a private dance, set up by the guys. We want to know who it is so I can take her place, and teach him a lesson!" Yuffies evil grin spread from ear to ear.

"Hahaha! This is a devious plan... I like it." she laughed. "As it just so happens, Valentine is my client for this evening. I'll be happy to help you out, but we need to make sure you look the part if you want to throw him off! C'mon, there are wigs backstage and I have a mask that would suit you perfectly!"

"Tifa, after we're done helpin' out Yuffie, i'll show you to the bar while she's takin' care of business." Said Kriss, as she turned toward Yuffie's friend. " Oh.. and hun, your going to need to change out of that dress and into somethin' different." Yuffie's face lit up like Rudolph. "W-what? What's wrong with this dress..,?" Kriss gave a knowing look. "Hun, do you really need to ask why?" Yuffie had never shown too much skin. Vincent wanted to wait until she had a ring on her finger... At the time, it didn't seem like a big deal to her to... well, y'know.

But now that it comes right down to it, she was a little nervous of being in skimpy clothes in front of Vince, let alone nude. No! The great ninja Yuffie can't be nervous! She's dealt with things worse than this. She can do it! "O-okay..." Tifa giggled at her friend. "Don't worry, I'll show you exactly what to do." Kriss said encouragingly.

.:Later:.

"C'mon yo! Don't back out on us now!" Reno ranted. They nudged Vincent all the way to the door of Cirque de Lune. "Try to relax for one night before your chained down next to that ball of energy!" Barret contributed. "Tonight, let's have fun. We can drink all we want, and watch all we want. Relax, and we'll take care of the rest." Cloud gave a quick pat on his shoulder.

When the group walked through the doors, the lights were flashing, and the music played loud enough to make your head throb.

They stopped by the hostess, who led them to a table near the front of the large stage. Vincent on the other hand, was to follow the hostess off to the room reserved by his comrades. The small room was set on an angle, where the door was next to the stage, and a chair sitting directly across from the elevated part of the room, where the pole was ready and waiting. The room was dim, and small lights ran around the edge of the stage.

Vincent ran his hand through his hair and sat down in the cushioned chair, ready for whatever was about to happen to be over. Music began to play quietly, and slowly the volume rose. A small woman came gracefully walking out from behind velvet red curtains, her thin black high heels clacking all the way over to the pole. The mask she was wearing was intricate with design, and feathers draped around the edges, giving her face an angular shape. Her glossy red lips were partially open and stood out against her dark, long brown hair. She wore black leather gloves that only covered about half her palm, lace around the edges. The white silk corset she wore formed her body to perfect hour glass shape, pronouncing her chest, and thin black lace bottoms from what looked like a thong, showing off her well toned thighs.

She slowly wrapped one gloved hand around the pole as the music started to pick up.

He felt a bit trapped at this point. This small room was designed in such a way that... He couldn't really look anywhere else. The only thing he could do was look down... but that was kind of hard to do at this point. She quickly moved up and down along with the music, her movements where swift as she spun around the pole until the woman faced Vincent- one leg wrapped around the pole. She stuck one finger in her mouth and slowly pulled her gloves off with her teeth, one by one.

_'I can't believe I'm doing this! I'm so glad this mask covers most of my face, otherwise I'd look like a frickin' tomato! Just a few more moves... Then I'll...'_

Vincent felt terrible. He couldn't completely pull his eyes away from her, there was something familiar about her movements. He didn't want a strange woman dancing for him... he wanted... Yuffie. He imagined her being the one in front of him, and couldn't help but blush. Which showed up easily on his pale skin.

_'He's blushing, damn it! I'm glad I'm the one dancing for him, but he doesn't even know it's me!' _Yuffie turned around so her backside was facing him, and slowly went down, legs spread. '_Leviathan, This is embarrassing!' _

She was a little upset at the thought of another woman he didn't know made Vincent blush. '_You can do this Yuffie! Just a little longer'._ She started working her way back up as she started to undo the laces of her corset, and whisked it off to the side of the room, now leaving a very skimpy black bra, Taking a quiet shuddering breath before she turned around.

She slowly made her way over to Vincent, She could see he was looking as far away as he could. '_Hmm... lets scare him a bit shall we?'_

Vincent dared to look at the woman before him, who had a small grin on her face. She got closer to him, and straddled Vincent's lap. He was pissed now, his eyebrows furrowed and his ruby eyes illuminated annoyance. He looked away as far as he could, and turned his head. The woman snatched his chin so he was forced to look at her.

"_So_, Mr. Valentine... I hear your going to get hitched, hn?" Yuffie had changed her tone of voice, no longer the high pitched tone of her normal one. Vincent could barely see her seductive eyes behind that mask. "How bout' a good luck kiss, hun?" she asked sweetly. He was about ready to buck this girl off. "N-" he couldn't even finish his rejection before the strange woman laid her lips on his. Vincent's eyes lit up in horror, but before he could push her off his lap, The woman removed her mask just when he looked up. "Y-yuffie...?" his voice cracked, eyes still filled with shock. "Vince... I thought I told you a long time ago." She looked straight in to Vincent's eyes, watching his blush grow, once he realized what his fiance was wearing. "Your mine." she pouted as she gave his nose a pinch.

"C'mon yo! Let's go take a peek at that Vamp's dancer!" Reno shot his hands up in protest. "No, Reno. There's plenty of girls out here." Rude stated flatly, arms crossed. "We paid for it.." Reno said irritated. "One peek wouldn't hurt!" Cid cheered, beer in his hand spilling. "Geez..." Cloud said to himself.

"Hey.." A tall young woman with shoulder length brown hair, and glossy lips walked up behind cloud, causing him to turn his head. The woman he was looking at was wearing a mask, covering her face, and bust that could battle Tifa's. Cloud's eyes almost popped out of his head. "Could I see you for a moment?" she asked seductively. "Uh..." he wanted to stay put, though the table he was sitting at was thinking otherwise. The entire group was cheering. "Oh man..." Reno started laughing at Cloud's speechless face, dumbfounded on what to do.

The strange woman cupped her hand against Cloud's cheek, but before he could react, she took a strong hold of his ear. "Wh-owowow! H-hey!" Tifa removed her mask, and her fist was sitting against her hip, still having a hold on his ear. Cloud put his hands over hers, trying to relieve some of the pain as Tifa dragged a staggering Cloud outside the building. The entire party broke out into laughter. Cid even shed a tear.

"Wait... if Tifa's here, then that means..." Barret was getting a worried look on his face. The group was silent until they realized the situation. "Vincent!" they all jumped up and started for the room Vincent was left in. They were certain Yuffie was gonna kick his ass. They all cautiously cracked the door open when none of the staff were looking, and peeked in to see if Vince was dead or not.

Both of them were standing in the room facing the opposite direction, "You're lucky I believe you Mr. Brood!" Yuffie pointed her finger at Vincent. He nodded and gave her a kiss on the head. "Yes, I am sorry." he laid his hands on her small shoulders. "Nuh-uh." Yuffie tapped her finger on her lips expectantly. "A real one. While no one's around!" Vincent chuckled, and complied giving her a long kiss on the lips, hands wrapped around her waist while Yuffie wrapped hers around his neck.

"Aw-man, lookit...!" Reno said in a hushed tone, but his mouth was slapped shut by Rude before he was heard.

"Now, don't you think you should put some clothes on, so we may go home?" he crossed his arms, tilting his head. A red tint was still on his cheeks as he tried to advert his eyes away from his bride. "You weren't complaining before..." she smiled deviously, as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders again, she jumped up to get a good hold while two strong arms held her against his chest. Her legs wrapped around him as he went to sit down in the chair. Unnoticed spies still watching.

"_So,_ why'd you blush when you were watching what you thought to be a strange woman huh?" she asked curiously. "Because..." he went to kiss her nose. "I...was thinking of you being the one up there instead." Yuffie smiled from ear to ear. "Good." She turned her head to kiss him again. Vincent wrapped his arms around her waist, while a hand slowly brushed over her bottom. Yuffie released his lips to look at his face. "Open up a little more..." Yuffie quietly breathed.

"Shit, man... they need to get a room." Cid hissed, ready to spill out cusses. ""They are in a room, dumbass, g-" Reno whispered, a little _too_ loudly. "Rude tried to shut up his co-worker before-

Out of the corner of Vincent's eye, he saw head that popped in the side of the door frame. Vincent just about shot out of his chair like a rocket. His lips went to a thin line, with all the blood rushing to his cheeks, eyes ready to pop. Out of instinct, he did what could to try and cover the _obviously _nude parts of his bride. He immediately took off his cloak and wrapped it around her like a blanket, while Yuffie tried to see who the intruders were. Yuffie's cheeks lit up like a stop light. "Hey, you horny bastards! Go get your own reservation!"


End file.
